Understanding the Differences: Kinks vs. Fetishes

Article by : Svetozar Kuzman Mar 1, 2024

• 
• 

People are often embarrassed to talk about their kinks or fetishes, even though at least one in six people have some kinky habits. It’s really not something we openly talk about which is why there might tend to be a bit of confusion around kinky terminology. And that’s exactly why today we’ll focus on the differences between fetish and kink.

Having already delved deep into the uncharted territories of fetishes, in this article we’ll deal with the subtle differences between two fairly common aspects of sexuality.

Difference in Degree: Kinks vs Fetish

To put it bluntly, kinks are less pronounced and intense versions of fetishes. They are both similar in that they can involve more or less playful violence, sex toys, different types of clothes, etc. It’s just that kinks are less intense than fetishes.

So there is a sort of continuum between kinks, fetishes, and fetishistic disorder.

For instance, if you have a kink for feet, you may like spicing up your usual sexual routines with some feet play, from time to time. If you have a foot fetish, foot play becomes an important part of your sex life, though not necessarily the most important aspect. Finally, if you have a fetishistic disorder, the sexualization of feet completely takes over your sex life to the point of you having significant issues because of it.

This would be the simple quantitative difference between kinks and fetishes. Let’s now discuss qualitative differences between these two phenomena:

Difference in Nature: Examples of Sex Kinks and Fetishes

A lot of people have kink for certain types of clothing, whether it be lingerie, underwear, breastwear, etc. They may enjoy foreplay involving these types of clothing. Furthermore, they may not really think that much about clothing as sexual objects, it’s just something that happens spontaneously.

The situation with various clothing fetishes is somewhat different. Here we have somewhat more of the sexualization of clothing, usually to the point where people start buying/collecting specific types of clothing used mainly for sexual purposes. So besides the difference in intensity, we also have slightly different ways of implementing clothes into sexual play.

Let’s briefly discuss another example: BDSM. In its kinky form, BDSM involves a little bit of playful violence, which is something that often comes spontaneously and without forethought. When at the level of a fetish, BDSM involves introduction of various sex toys such as whips, besides the intensification of violence/dominance/submission.

The Prevalence and Normality of Kinks and Fetishes

As mentioned in the introduction, hundreds of millions of people around the world like to get kinky from time to time. Human sexuality is so complex, with incredible diversity of kinks and fetishes. This is why it’s extremely hard to come up with a definition of “normal” sexuality. Two persons can have two completely different kinds of sexuality and still be completely normal. So for instance person A can have a major foot fetish and person B might like to go down the BDSM route occasionally, without any of them crossing into the spectrum of pathology.

It is only when person A or B start suffering quite a lot due to their sex habits that we can talk about some kind of mental disorder or significant deviation.

Conclusion

We’ve seen that there are both quantitative and qualitative differences between kinks and fetishes, which is why it’s important to hold this in mind when discussing human sexuality. Kinks are less intense than fetishes, which are in turn less intense than fetishistic disorders. But as we’ve seen in real-life examples, actions and practices linked with kinks can differ quite significantly from straightforward fetishistic practices.

In the end, all that matters is the well-being and happiness of people. The most important thing is for individuals to be happy with their sexuality (not simply sexual orientation, but also their specific sexual habits), able to express their sexuality without inflicting significant pain upon themselves or others. Everything else is peripheral. So whether you’re into domination/submission, have a penchant for feet, latex clothes, or anything else, there’s no reason to feel widely different: everyone has at least some sort of kink that freshens up the routine of sex.

Sources:

• https://www.slotsup.com/blog/fetishes-around-the-world
• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/fetishistic-disorder
• https://dictionary.apa.org/mental-disorder